Monday, September 27, 2010

{This all...}

I read something today that really just.. resonated deep. You know.. you do that sometimes, read things that you really relate to, understand. That parallel that is just not one skew off, but similar for miles.

But first...

Today was one of those days that I really didn't feel like getting up, getting the kids on the bus or starting a Monday. In all honesty it was a bad start. I knew I had e-mails to respond to, photos to sort, you name it. But... my house was a wreck. And internally? This girl can only take so much before the breakdown starts. Oh yeah, it started. I broke down. Got out the bleach and rubber gloves, had my way with every toilet and sink and still felt ... oy. {I'm really not OCD.} Quit laughing. I'm not. :) Knowing my house is clean brings... like internal peace. Any sisters out there relate to this nonsense? I'd like a rewire please!

So back to where I was...

Two GOOD things happened today in the middle of my hot-mess-break-down-at-home:

a) First I realized Jasmine Star {yes, THE Jasmine Star} took the time to stop by and comment here on the post I wrote about her. Is she not the absolute most dynamite ROCKSTAR photographer ever? The people in life that make the deepest impressions on us are the ones that do it without motive. When you are as monumental in your career as she is - you don't need to stop by peon photographer's blogs like mine. But she did, and that's legit. Hey, she keeps it real. She's the perfect stand-out combination of demureness & determination. I really admire her.

b) Another woman I admire? Mary. One of the women that encouraged me and mentored me years ago to do what I do today - she wrote something that truly influenced me. Stellar, relative and heart-filled. Here's the link if you'd like to read it: Mary's blog. So back to where I began this post...

Oh I love this job. Like no job I've ever had. Reallllllly like being my own boss. Cept that sometimes I over-work myself without mercy until my anarchy side takes over and at 1 am screams: "ENOUGH! Go to bed child!" But honestly - most days it's a lot of time with this here Mac computer & One-Man-Band. Sorting. Editing. Posting. Blogging. Uploading. Archiving. Emailing. Responding. Repeat this like 20x in no particular order. It's kinda chaotic sometimes, but I am happy to say it's what I get to do.

Revered that this is what I do. Capturing peoples lives?  What an observation of true reward! Nothing I've ever done creatively in an artistic field of 14 years has filled my heart like this. When a bride hugs me at the end of that exhilarating, exhausting day - I know I've done my job. When a mom calls me and tells me her photos made her cry {in a good way!} I know I've done my job. Maybe the reason I love this job is because of the emotion that photography occupies. I am emotive in how I write, how I see things, how I communicate.

My job is to capture emotion. To envelop sweet sentiments ... stirring memory to warm the heart.
A special heart. Someone that I've never met but will appreciate for one aspect or another... even if it's as simple as just sharing the humanity of life.

This is why I love doing what I do. It is why I pull the late nights and skipped girl's nights - It's why coffee and I are like this *index and middle entwined*. It's why I feel absolutely sufficed and equally determined. It's my bubble. My castle in the air. It's 24/7, kinda messy sometimes and jacked on coffee, but it's all mine.

Until you know where you belong, you'll dream of what you never had. Live your dreams. :)