Sunday, May 8, 2011

{From the time they were born, I've been watching them take breaths.}

From the time they were born, I've been watching them take breaths. 
Quiet restful breaths as they slept, a beautiful newborn baby. 
Breaths of coos and ahhs from a little baby mouth talking to me in their talk. 
Breaths of anticipation and curiosity as a toddler. 
A big breath of fear that first time getting on the bus - finally that "big boy" and "big girl." 
A breath of sadness mixed with tears when someone was mean to them at school. 
A breath of gasping for air when laughter was so profuse and so consuming because the tickle monster was on attack. 
A breath of nervousness stepping up to bat or to the microphone to sing in front of the crowds.

And from the time they were born I've also observed my own breaths responding to theirs. 
Breaths of such wonder and awe as they slept quiet, a tiny precious miracle. 
Breaths of sweet contentment listening to a little baby's sounds and knowing, you are mine sweet baby, always, always talk to me.
Breaths of fear and sadness when watching them step up on that bus, knowing life was changing into another season.
Breaths of anger and protection when someone hurt MY baby's feelings.
Breaths of laughter and enjoyment remembering my own times of being tickled as a kid by my dad and experiencing the joy in doing that now myself as a parent.
Breaths of pride and a little nervousness - holding my breath! That is my boy that just hit that ball!! That is my girl that just sang that duet!! 

They are the reason I breathe. They are what define those breaths. They are the breath I would give up in a heart beat to protect them. They are the breath that sustains me. They are the breath that reminds me of my purpose. 

Breath is life. And for mothers, children are the breaths that make ours.

Being a mom is sometimes hard. Exhausting. Testing. It includes gray hair and frazzled nerves. It requires occasionally chocolate and a hot cup of tea and QUIET. But to me ... Being a mom is the best thing I have ever done. It is my greatest title. My greatest accomplishment. My greatest source of pride. And they are my greatest reward on earth. And like everything in life I've ever done... I haven't always done it right. I'm not perfect. But unlike anything in life - my kids never make me feel anything... but perfect. It is the only title I wear as being the "best" and don't always necessarily deserve it, but yet... I still get to wear it each day. And I am made to feel no different than that when I hear... "you're the best mom ever". 

And they truly believe that 100 percent. Children are such blessings. The mind of a child... and the never wavering love of a child..  They always love you where you are. They are what encourages and inspires you to be better. Because while they believe you really are perfect, you know you're not... but it's their BELIEF in you that challenges you to be all you can be for them. My job is important to them. It's important to me. And while I know I am not perfect - I want to get it right because someday they will understand and know I'm not perfect as they grow. But.. I want them to see my efforts. Because those bring respect and example to them when they become a parent. The time goes by fast. 
It's amazing how quickly tomorrow becomes ten years ago. We have a short time to get it right. 

And my prayer is always the same... God please help me to always be the best mom I can be. Help them to learn from me. From my accomplishments as well as my failures. Thank you for each day with them. They are such a precious gift. Please protect them and keep them safe in your hedge of protection.

For every mom that's ever worried, anticipated, prided herself in her child's accomplishments, laughed at the simplicity of what joy laughter itself brings, quietly watched a child sleep, and breathed in a sigh of contentment and gratefulness for the wearing the title: Mother... Happy Mother's Day.