Tuesday, June 12, 2012

{Truth | Personal}

I am 36 years old.

Logistically if I live a long life, I am almost half-way through it.

I have learned a lot even in this first half. I have learned a lot about who I am, what I represent, where I'm going, what I tolerate. That includes all of my decisions, success and failures that have carried me up till today. Every step up is another step learned.

I have two kids that mean more to me than anything in this world. They are my reason.
The reason I wake up. The reason I spend each minute of my day being productive. The reason I climb into bed to get up and do it all over again the next day. They are my greatest accomplishment. My greatest source of pride. My greatest joy.

How I handle myself in the light of joy as well as sorrow and what I tolerate in-between teaches them life lessons. I teach them love for a Creator. I teach them always light over darkness. Love over hate. Productivity over laziness.

I run a business. I work very hard. Sometimes I miss things. I work many weekends shooting weddings. I don't work 8-5p Monday through Friday. Rather, in the summer, I shoot often in the early evening. Sometimes I miss weekend events. Sometimes I miss my kids games. My job is no exception to any other full-time job - except that often I work more than 40 hours. I put in many late night hours as a small business owner. I wear many hats. But I AM my own boss. And I am a tough boss. I edit from home. So I am able to have the flexibility and convenience of being there. There are pros and cons to this job. Flexibility vs. exhaustion sometimes. None-the-less I pursue it with passion and determination.

With that said. I am a mom. I am a business owner. I am an oldest child. I like rules.
I'm ok with your rules provided you don't first break them and then subsequently demand me to follow them. If you want me to live by your rules, then you live by them too. Start and finish the game with the same rules. Life isn't a game of dirty UNO.

Back to the I am 36 years old part...

Don't spend my nights out clubbing. {For those of you who do, not knocking it - just not my choice}
Don't spend my weekends going out. {Usually I'm shooting or catching up on edits}
Don't know what's going on typically with World News or National News. {Again with working}
Don't drink a lot. {Occasional glass of wine is nice, a beer with pizza I don't mind either.}
Don't tolerate untruths. {Not really fond of confrontation, but I do defend my truths.}
Don't claim to be perfect. {Raise your hand though if you are. Let's meet. I'd like to know your secret.}

Do like to dance at my desk to Spotify.
Do like an occasional night out to see a movie or dinner with a friend.
Do like to stay up late. Bed at 3a is not unfamiliar.
Do try to check updates with friends on Facebook.
Do talk with friends daily. They keep me SANE.
Do try to balance life and work. Hard sometimes, but my kids are growing up fast.
Do try often to drink more water on a daily basis vs coffee, my job keeps overriding this however.
Do pray over my kids and teach them what I can about what I know to be true.
Do encourage them to be active in sports, succeed in school and above all seek truth.

I am only one person.
One woman in this world, taking care of two babies and running a business.

I hope I teach my children...

That the heart is the wellspring of life. To take care of it. To make sure others take care of it too.
That one can have integrity even with shortcomings, but integrity is earned. 
That you forgive for you and respect yourself for others.
That character defines you. 
That hard work makes you admirable.
That hardships make you stronger.
That tough choices make you responsible.
That while bad choices in life are inevitable, they still mark you.
That good choices parallel peace.
That love is freely given. Never demanded. 
That lies destroy. 
That truth is imperative.
That assuming you know one's truths makes you a fool.
That with grace comes accountability.
That judging leaves a log in your eye.
That stooping to someone's level only brings you down to them. Speak truth. But be above it.
That gossip spreads fast but always comes back to you - usually lands behind your back.
That gratefulness can help determine the amount of happiness you have.
That life is too short... each day is a gift.
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
That in the end, it's not about the accolades, the trophies or degrees. It's about who we were and who we loved.
That while looking in the rear view mirror captivates your attention, it also wrecks you. 

Accept that the path could have gone a thousand different ways. But you're on the one you took. So drive looking forward.

Most importantly, enjoy the ride.