Sometimes it's hard to stick with things.
I remember years ago sitting in a newsroom editing pages and dreaming about photography. Wondering where I'd be in 5 years. If I'd have a cool website or the lenses I drooled over.
Several times I thought - when life got overwhelming and busy - "Jo just be content, this is what you'll do. You'll be a graphic designer and you'll have a creative job. You'll design ads and logos and such - layout pages and photography will just kinda be a back burner thing. A hobby. And that's ok."
And it probably could have been ok. But there was this nagging desire in my heart. That every time when I thought about photography just being my side hobby, my back burner activity - I felt a sadness in my soul.
You see, I couldn't stop dreaming about photography. It was all I thought about. Day and night. I'd wake up thinking about how I was going to learn a new skill - and go to bed wondering what I could tackle tomorrow. I'd scour the internet. Read books. Study what other photographers did. Sometimes that left me discouraged. Other times it empowered me. And all along the way I stuck with it. And years passed. And I still worked my full-time graphic design job. Fearful to take the leap. But more and more ready each year I became.
I had tried the different puzzle pieces of home sales. I loved to cook - and the recipes are fabulous but Pampered Chef wasn't what I dreamed about. Neither was Arbonne... though their products are fantastic. Photography was that puzzle piece that just fit my life. And I wanted it sooooo badly to just already make it's way into my life and complete my puzzle... but it took a long time.
Sometimes we don't want to stick with things. For so many reasons. We feel we aren't good enough. There's too much surrounding us. We feel overwhelmed. We want instant gratification and it's taking tooooo long for this thing to happen. Society teaches us to expect things to happen overnight. And for a few select people it does oddly happen overnight. But for most of us, it's a longer journey. And that's not a bad thing. Because in sticking with it... a lot can be learned about yourself. When the whole time you were just trying to learn your camera... eight years later you are surprised to learn that in addition to your technical knowledge of your gear increasing - you've learned just as much about you, your backbone, your motivation, your determination, your skills, your incessant drive and persistent hopes. As an artist, you've learned your medium and its intent.
I am thankful that I read the book Visionmongers. It literally changed my intent. It was what I needed to quit sitting poolside.
I am thankful this Thursday that I stuck with it. The back burner hobby.
In truth, I loved being a Graphic Designer. And for 14 years of my life it was a GREAT job. It put me on a path that led me to becoming a Photographer. I didn't know where it was leading me. But I stuck with it. And when it's really right, your heart gives you no other choice BUT to stick with it.
And in similar fashion - with so many trends in photography it's easy to want to jump on that path or another path. Many times this week it's been reiterated in different ways in my reading that you should stay on the path and PERFECT that path. There's a lot of really cool, amazing styles of photography out there today. Digital editing is such an incredible tool in niching your style. But focus on your style and hone in on it. Perfect it. Otherwise you waste time becoming distracted by all of the options and paths and end up being mediocre to good in several areas - but you haven't perfected that one that is you. I by NO means am an expert in this. But these are my thoughts and I just wanted to share and encourage anyone who feels like you've been waiting too long, you're discouraged and tired. Stay at it. Do the time. Do your diligent research. Perfect it. It's a life-long journey in the perfecting it part alone. But what a journey it is to do what your heart truly loves.
“We are made to persist.
that's how we find out who we are.” - Tobias Wolff
